Sep. 23rd, 2014 05:16 pm
estelraca: (Default)
So Cat and I are now both legally and ceremonially married.  The ceremony was absolutely amazing--we mixed a whole bunch of traditions together, and we were both super happy with the result.

It'll be nice not to have the wedding planning to do anymore.  Now we just have planning of a different sort--between our savings and some gifts of air miles from family, we've got enough to get us over to Japan for our honeymoon at the start of November.  It's very exciting.  I've never been, but Cat lived there for a little bit.  I'm just super excited to go anywhere out of country--I spent a bit of time in Mexico, and like all Michiganders I've been to Canada, but I've never really been somewhere that far away.  Adventure!

Hope everyone's lives have been good here.
estelraca: (Default)
A brief run-down of what's been going on in Estel's life recently...

Whining about work )
Whining about my health and the human medical profession )
estelraca: (Default)
Work whining, depressing story )

Life whining )

Nothing absolutely terrible is going on.  There's just been a lot of little things plus some grey days that have added up to make me a bit depressed.  Blargh.  Hopefully we'll read some Vorkosigan or watch some Kitchen Nightmare or something once Cat's had a chance to settle down and life will look better.
estelraca: (Default)
One and a half days of work left and then vacation for four glorious days.

Then I can see Cat for more than two hours each day, because this whole thing of him working overtime every day and suddenly working weekends too is not doing so good for both of us.  Maybe Cat will even be awake and coherent for talking and plotting and betaing for some of those days.

Four days of no life and death decisions.  Four days of no giving people bad news.  (Also four days of no kittens and puppies and no saving anything, but I so need a break right now from the bad parts of this job.)

One and a half days, and then maybe I can get some sleep without nightmares.

I can do this.
estelraca: (Default)
Things I should not forget to do just because I'm in a bad headspace:

-Pay the electric bill
-Pay my student loans (even if they're ridiculous seriously why is half of each payment going to interest stop building up interest I knew there was a reason I never liked math and that's because it leads to stupid things like this)

Thank you, Cat, for reminding me.  *slinks off to actually be a contributing member of the household*

Coming soon (aka sometime later today): Estel's Thoughts on "Shards of Honor" chapters 4-7.  Cat's working on getting the audio files for chapters 6 and 7 ready for those who are interested.
estelraca: (Default)
So I've hit that terrible milestone--my first mistake that ended up in a patient's death.

Terrible, Terrible Things Happen to Animals because of me )
I don't know.  I'm just rambling now.  I'm tired from two weekends in a row on.  Cat's going to be gone this weekend.  And I just want the whole world to disappear for a while, except not, because then all I hear is the kitty crying.

estelraca: (Default)
Also, it is the FULL MOON tonight!  On my birthday!

Hope everyone has a good pack to share it with and a safe place to Change.  ;p
estelraca: (Default)
Just wanted to say thanks again to everyone who wished me a happy birthday!  This has been one of the best birthdays of my life (ironic, given my melt-down leading up to it).  It was an insanely busy day at work, but overall things didn't go too badly with any of my cases (knock on wood).  My coworkers were all really nice to me, everyone was in a good mood (which makes it so much nicer when it's busy), and they bought me a cake, much to my surprise, which we ate in weird shifts during the mad rush but they all insisted I take time out to cut it before anyone else would touch it.

Then I came home and Cat and our roomies had made a feast for me.  Like, the whole kitchen was covered in food.  And not just any food, but Estel-really-likes-it food.  Apparently I am very vocal about what food I like, and they made enough dishes to keep us fed for the next two days or so, and it was absolutely wonderful.

And then I log on here and find lots of birthday wishes from you guys and I'm just really happy right now.

So thank you, everyone, for making this a good day.
estelraca: (Default)
So, I'm turning 27 on Thursday.  I always said that I was never going to be one of those people who freaked out about their birthday because, well, it's silly and it's just another day and is getting older really that scary?

Answer: yes.  Yes it is.

My life, my fears, and more Bad Things Happen to Animals tales )

Tl;dr--I'm tired and had a bad morning at work and it's making me doubt everything about myself again.  Huzzah.

My life really isn't that bad.  I'm making enough that I'm paying my student loans and able to handle small emergencies (like the $500 car repair last week, that was fun) and I can buy things on a whim like books for myself and puzzles for Cat and we can occasionally go out to eat and it doesn't break the bank.  I have wonderful days at work where I manage to help critters and people are grateful.  Sometimes I manage to write things, and people seem to enjoy them, and I suppose that's all I should really want from that.  And I'm going to have a great birthday.  I know Cat and roomies will ensure that.  But sometimes I wish life would be a little bit easier.
estelraca: (Default)
I think I've finally figured out one of the reasons I've been a little bit crazy for the last week and a half (because work and illness and people being stupid isn't enough): my baby brother was in a car accident that totaled his car.  He managed to walk away with only some bruises because all the safety features on the car worked right, but I think it did bad things to my head.  I've always been really close to my biological brothers.  I helped raise them when my grandmother was dying.  I've been disowned twice for defending my baby brother from my parents (it didn't quite stick either time).  He was the one who sat with me and held my hand while I cried during my coming out to my folks; he's the reason I felt I could risk it.  And some idiot who doesn't understand that red means stop almost took him away from me.

I thought I was fine with it, because he's all right, and I am so lucky and happy that he's all right.  But I've spent the two weeks since I found out unable to write, unable to get excited about anything, just kind of numb and depressed about literally everything.  I'm finally starting to feel better now, and I'm sorry if I missed anything.  Apparently even when I have good luck in my life it can screw me up.  I think I am starting to understand why self-medicating substance abuse is such a problem in my profession.
estelraca: (Default)
No Sad Work Story, Just Estel Melt-Down )

TL;DR: I am too young to be having a mid-life crisis but think maybe I'm having one anyway.  I suppose it's not surprising--I've spent the last twenty years with the one goal of Become A Vet and now I'm trying to figure out what to do (other than work) since I've succeeded at that.  Having to deal with the second-class citizen status of LGBT relationships on top of that and a cold just makes me want to crawl away somewhere and hide until the world goes away.  But I can't, because the insurance people tell me bad things will happen to those I love.  >.<  *desperately wants to just be able to bite problems and make them go away*


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