I doubt I told you anything that you wanted to hear, but I have mad issues with being comforting.
Your boss, I'm sure, is trying to make it easier on you. Considering how hard you're taking this, your boss' actions are fully understandable. I'm sure they want you to bounce back from this, but it's not always that easy. And it shouldn't ever be easy to just bounce back. You should feel what you're feeling. Aside from letting it guide you and learn from it, it also keeps your humanity in check. It's good that you're taking it hard. That, of course, doesn't make the feelings hurt any less, nor will it bring any comfort, but you're not looking for comfort now, I'm betting. Any given would seem almost...I dunno. False in a way.
You are, however, very strong. You need to be for this line of work. I would love to work with animals and save 'em and all that, but I know I'd lose it bad if any ever died. I can't put myself out there like that. But you can, and you're needed to make up for the wusses of the world like myself.
And you're right in knowing that you're not Superman and all that. I think, deep down, we all have a savior complex of sorts. Sometimes it's predominant, and we take a failure harshly. Sometimes it's mild, and we can move on fairly quickly. But the lesson of 'you can't save everyone' is always hard to learn. It's never learned easily. Because while others can tell you this, everyone refuses to believe it until they experience it for themselves. The lucky ones escape with minimal scarring.
In a way, though, it's also a passage for you. You have made your first real life-or-death mistake. It's, in a way, akin to a child becoming aware of their own mortality. A step up both mentally and emotionally. You're wiser for it, though the lesson hurts like hell.
I'm glad you're continuing with surgery. I'm glad you're willing to get back on that horse.
On a sidenote, it's my headcanon that Joly is way above par when it comes to surgery. He stutters a little and twitches nervously when having to tell someone their diagnosis, at least when it pertains to a STD, but surgery is where his talents really reside. Partially because he's normally put in warzones - barricades, etc - where surgery comes as a necessity rather than saying "Got some bad news for you. Your leg's gonna have to be amputated, and it looks like your colon had a bright idea when you shoved that lightbulb up your rear, but here's the real bad news. Everyone here who hasn't got syphilis, raise your hand. Ooh, not so fast there."
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Your boss, I'm sure, is trying to make it easier on you. Considering how hard you're taking this, your boss' actions are fully understandable. I'm sure they want you to bounce back from this, but it's not always that easy. And it shouldn't ever be easy to just bounce back. You should feel what you're feeling. Aside from letting it guide you and learn from it, it also keeps your humanity in check. It's good that you're taking it hard. That, of course, doesn't make the feelings hurt any less, nor will it bring any comfort, but you're not looking for comfort now, I'm betting. Any given would seem almost...I dunno. False in a way.
You are, however, very strong. You need to be for this line of work. I would love to work with animals and save 'em and all that, but I know I'd lose it bad if any ever died. I can't put myself out there like that. But you can, and you're needed to make up for the wusses of the world like myself.
And you're right in knowing that you're not Superman and all that. I think, deep down, we all have a savior complex of sorts. Sometimes it's predominant, and we take a failure harshly. Sometimes it's mild, and we can move on fairly quickly. But the lesson of 'you can't save everyone' is always hard to learn. It's never learned easily. Because while others can tell you this, everyone refuses to believe it until they experience it for themselves. The lucky ones escape with minimal scarring.
In a way, though, it's also a passage for you. You have made your first real life-or-death mistake. It's, in a way, akin to a child becoming aware of their own mortality. A step up both mentally and emotionally. You're wiser for it, though the lesson hurts like hell.
I'm glad you're continuing with surgery. I'm glad you're willing to get back on that horse.
On a sidenote, it's my headcanon that Joly is way above par when it comes to surgery. He stutters a little and twitches nervously when having to tell someone their diagnosis, at least when it pertains to a STD, but surgery is where his talents really reside. Partially because he's normally put in warzones - barricades, etc - where surgery comes as a necessity rather than saying "Got some bad news for you. Your leg's gonna have to be amputated, and it looks like your colon had a bright idea when you shoved that lightbulb up your rear, but here's the real bad news. Everyone here who hasn't got syphilis, raise your hand. Ooh, not so fast there."